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9/21/04 - I just came back from shopping with my wife. It was embarrassing being in the brassier department, but I am a blessed man for I have discovered the meaning of 42-D. After I made the purchase, the other men in line just looked at me with awe and others looked upon me with envy. I understand their envy, for the fruits that I enjoy are . . . well, they just ARE. William R: you once said that "more than a mouth full is a waste." Yeah, yeah, you say Terry said it. I tell you William, the more the better for anything less than a mouth full is a waste. 9/20/04 - Pancakes at 7:29 P.M.? For some reason my daughters asked me for pancakes at this hour. Nope, not gonna happen. My wife overhears and decides to make them pancakes. Is she trying to show me up? I really don't care because I wasn't about to prepare them anyway. I prefer to order out. Well, I can no longer elicit sympathy from anyone, my infection seems to have abated and it couldn't have timed its exit any better. I am ready for work tomorrow. It should have left me the minute I LEFT work, but being that it is a summer flu/cold/infection, it had to be stupid and leave me just in time for work the next day. Star Wars Classic on DVD goes on sale tomorrow . . . can't wait. I will probably invite the staff over on Saturday to watch the movies (like we haven't seen them before, right?) and we will go blind from watching about seven hours of boob-tube quality time. 2004. How many days left to 2005? Doesn't matter anyway, it is all a blur that forestalls itself only when one takes the time to think about the passage of time. Passage . . . of . . . time . . . Well, I just saved a few seconds of my own "blur time". What should I do with myself now? I can't leave the computer just yet as I am being stalked for my spousal duties. It isn't actually a duty, but a rite and a rather joyful one at that, just that the infection has left me . . . longing for . . . orange juice. OJ? Look, I want orange juice, is that too much to ask? What to do? I just checked around the corner and I am right, I am being stalked. In the movie Predator, they state: "if it bleeds, we can kill it." I am not so certain about that at this time. Joshua: Are the reviews ready? Did you forget? Do you care? Probably, so I will have to just wait. Chicken: (Actually that name was used for someone else, but I think it is appropriate that you have the name to represent you now) how have you been? It truly has been years since we last communicated. Are you doing well? I have missed speaking with you and I would hope that we could rekindle our past relationship. Wow. If I were in the agency, I would say that I just endured a brush-pass. In reality, I am at home and I am still being stalked. It is getting exciting now. I get to play secret agent man shortly . . . shortly as in a few minutes for if you believe such things, shoe size is everything. Hey Shaq, may I borrow a pair of shoes? Just call me Sashquatch - colloquial for BIG FOOT. Smeagle, the shoe size doesn't matter. That apron is rather revealing. Besides, the ring is like viagra, you no longer have it . . . to quote Eddie Murphy: "you don't have no ice cream, you didn't get none, you didn't get none . . . cause you are on da welfare and can't afford it, you can't afford it". I live to DIE ANOTHER DAY . . . I do this for God and Country. I do sleep with a gun under my pillow - I use three pillows so go figure that one out. 9/17/04 - I have been away for some time and it has been some time. Today is the first day that I can actually sit down for a while and get something done on this blasted computer (My co-workers, you will just have to do without me for I will not be returning to work anytime soon . . . I know you miss me - actually, need is probably the more accurate word. How are you getting along without me? I need to know!) and it feels odd. Anyway, my trip south of the border was just about as bad as I thought it would be . . . enough about that. I missed my mother's sixty-fifth birthday on the 10 of this month, illness and all that. Sorry mom, I will get over once I am over this blasted infection. Thrilling that I am unable to talk as most of my co-workers are missing out on my silence. Such is life. I wonder what these people do when I am not there . . . sleep probably, for no one is watching and minding the store when I am not there. Speaking of stores, hey Joe: are you keeping my warehousing up to date? I doubt it since you can't even stand on one foot, much less two. Actually, I can't call you Joe, I should call you . . . Grumpy. Yeah, that's it, Grumpy. It really isn't too much of a stretch for you to be called as such. DJRalph: has the novelty worn off? Since I am not at work, you are still able to send stuff in via e-mail, you know that thing that you always send twice, no matter what it is. What is your problem anyway? Why send it twice? This isn't a fax that some fool denies ever having received it. Remember what we did to Pacific Bell? That was funny, they sure did get that ONE fax! Angel: you ever gonna beat Big Puff at the race truck so you can silence our resident slide-rule master? We know you are gonna beat him again! Make sure his radiator doesn't have a leak again, maybe you should get him AAA so he can't complain about another breakdown. Speaking of Breakdowns, how are my fellow co-workers doing without me? Been a long time since I have been in . . . revenge is mine says the Lord and in his absence, Roger does in fact, do his deeds. I imagine that I will return Monday, September 20th. This vacation would have been nice had I not been ill . . . oh well. 9/5/04 - I have removed the guest comments page. The only way you can comment is to e-mail us directly. Turns out that one of the staff writers has decided to waste my time with inane and stupid commentary. "Give a man a key and he will steal you blind" - I changed the locks. I thought that giving him a job would shut him up. I am wrong in this one. I told him, actually, I asked politely, but he wanted to be stupid about it. No soup for you today. DaVinciX: you are right, one of my most favorite lines is Not Today. DJRalph: Not today. Actually, Never. To my staff members: If you don't like, get your own damn web site. You know who you are. If you don't, and you ask yourself: ME? Guess what? You just might be on to something. Littile One: I heard you - I also know that you no longer say anything anymore. I get it. To God: I haven't been good lately and you know me better than anyone. I haven't been bad though, just that I haven't been paying much attention as I should. I will do so from here on out. Thanks for hearing my prayers and for not letting anyone I know win the lotto, you are my steady eddie. I take a break as I am finishing up Episode 1.12 for Star Trek Frontiers. Lots of work and much more difficult than I thought. The word, sir? The word is given . . . Why can't I keep my mouth shut and my fingers on the mouse only? I think Randi will believe that I butchered her wonderful story and you know what? I know I did and I haven't even published it yet. Back to work . . . the spice mines of Kessel await. 9/4/04 - As I sit down to play a game of Risk, I realize that there is no point to it, I will win and I will win. It is rather like going to work, I am up against those that provide no challenge. DJ Ralph: the peanuts are salted and chances are good they are burned - errr, I mean roasted! Miss N: your article is wonderful but it is still not on the web site for the simply reason that I won't write it for you. Thanks for visiting. Dreem is camping this week. Life is but a Dream? I have visions of the campfire from Star Trek V and Dreem is the Vulcan, I am Kirk and Mike is the Doctor. G.I. Joe: here is a shout out to you. I hope you get back real soon and bring that beautiful family back with you and out of harms way. Thank you for doing your duty for our country and for me too. Slide Rule: Don't ever call me and tell me that I am not at my desk when I can never find you at yours. I just wanted to share with you that the weather was beautiful on 9/3/04. A wonderful day and I have just begun my four-day weekend. Life is good and . . . life is good. By the way, no "under-the-knife" yet. I am too scared. 9/2/04 - Well, I think I will be heading under the knife soon. I am not thrilled at the prospect, but at least, after a short while, I will be online pretty much all the time! I am trying to figure out the PHPbb software - it is a real pain in the butt. Hey, you web masters out there, give me a break! I have been a web master myself for all of three weeks now - lighten up! I just hired a fellow shop steward to the web site and I told him that there would be compensation for him - what a fool! He didn't ask as to what kind of compensation! Actually, I will go out on a limb here, but my staffers are compensated with real dollars and for a start up, that is really something. Just don't ask how many bottles of Planters Nuts I give them each month. Thursday is my last day of work for the week, I am off from work tomorrow and this leads into a four-day weekend! Hooray! Does it get much better than that? Yeah, it does, but for now the four day weekend will do. What could be better? Lots of stuff . . . I won't go into detail right now only because there is some sort of standard on this web site - don't know how far we will go, but we are trying to limit the damage. Smeagle Update: Apparently, I assaulted him with an aerosol can! Yeah, sure. Other than Trans-nothing and Mentally Incapable, you have no witnesses. And we know why they are your witnesses, because you buy them lunch every day. As a matter of fact, this is the only reason why they spend time with you: you have to buy your little companions to keep them close to you. It is so full of itself because my office had over twenty people present and no one saw the alleged confrontation! False accusations can and will come back and bite . . . when you get fired, Smeagle: I am the jaws of liberty! I am Justice Incarnate, I am that which sent you to the welfare line. I understand the reason for the attacks against me by [it]: 1. It is that time of the month. 2. It obviously hasn't gotten any in eons. 3. The only thing it gets is food and I know the eateries that it frequents: talk about no taste. Audrey: Woman! You are such a player! You go girl! Snowflake: just acknowledge that you like Big Puff and get it over with. Jolly: Ho Ho Ho, Green Giant! Jim Rome: Send out the clones, Kobe went free! Did he? How many millions did those 3 seconds of relief cost him? Speaking of relief, duty calls . . . 9/1/04 - Much to do yesterday, My little ones had a great deal of homework. Seems that they are making real progress in their studies - they will move on to more complex studies and will be ready to make the jump to college real soon. Randi: I'm sorry. I hope to be able to do your episode justice at Star Trek Frontiers. Everyone else: I have been commissioned to write my first episode which is due yesterday. I feel like I am home. Josh: Thanks! I have been thrown into the deep end of the pool. I really don't know how to swim . . . we'll know by Friday if I am dead or not! Long day yesterday. Turns out that Smeagle is now crying about some stupid inanity. Looks like I was carrying a conversation with a co-worker and Smeagle believes that my life revolves around [it]. Every word I say, apparently, is directed at [it]. You gotta be kidding me? I have work to do. The [little fat thing], has to get to work. You know, if [it] would, at least think while on the job, [it] would lose weight. Do something and maybe you wouldn't worry about other people. Here's one: practice your English. How about this one: do your work. How about showing up on time and not leaving early? Instead you go around where you don't belong and create false claims - all because you think that I spend my entire day (like you do of me) thinking of you. I thought you were straight she-man, I am mistaken it seems. By the way, Smeagle, stop staring. Some of my more desperate co-workers have been caught in your gaze - they may make contact with you. |
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